Loathing. Intense loathing filled the features of her face. Oh, how it consumed her.
A picture was all it took. A word was all that was needed. A fire began that wouldn't die. She wished she was numb again.
Her eyes kept searching for the glimmer of hope that eluded her in that picture. Bleak as it was, she knew deep within her that she wasn't giving up.
Maybe it said a lot more about him than he wanted to let on. Maybe she could see the evidence of his uncertainty. She wanted him happy, yes. But not this way. This was cruel. This was unjust. Was he really happy if he had resorted to this? Was he hoping that she'd react? She reacted, alright. Just not the way anyone in her place should have reacted. Acceptance had always been her strength.
But this acceptance was failing her today. Where was her solace when she needed it the most?
Reason had been her friend. Still was. She just couldn't see Her now. This was no time for Reason. She needed some time alone. She needed to scream it all out. Reason could visit her some other day. Just not today.
He might have as well shoved a knife in her side and twisted it, for all that was worth. She doubted it was pain that she felt. No. This wasn't pain. This was anger. This was loathing. Yes, loathing again. She hated his very nerve. Nothing she had done warranted this. Nothing at all. She just wasn't capable of being that mean.
But he had done it. There was no going back from this. Is this who he was now? Is this what he had become? Or was he always like this? I'm not the nice guy you think I am. Did he say those words with this in mind? Did he really believe it? Did she believe those words now? No. It wasn't possible. No one changes that soon and that much, could they?
She wasn't sure anymore. She was tired of hating. She wanted to cry, but this wasn't worthy enough to cry over. Why did she feel so upset? She had forgotten. Then her eyes found the picture once more. Rewind, pause, play. Repeat. And then it began all over again.
Loathing.
A picture was all it took. A word was all that was needed. A fire began that wouldn't die. She wished she was numb again.
Her eyes kept searching for the glimmer of hope that eluded her in that picture. Bleak as it was, she knew deep within her that she wasn't giving up.
Maybe it said a lot more about him than he wanted to let on. Maybe she could see the evidence of his uncertainty. She wanted him happy, yes. But not this way. This was cruel. This was unjust. Was he really happy if he had resorted to this? Was he hoping that she'd react? She reacted, alright. Just not the way anyone in her place should have reacted. Acceptance had always been her strength.
But this acceptance was failing her today. Where was her solace when she needed it the most?
Reason had been her friend. Still was. She just couldn't see Her now. This was no time for Reason. She needed some time alone. She needed to scream it all out. Reason could visit her some other day. Just not today.
He might have as well shoved a knife in her side and twisted it, for all that was worth. She doubted it was pain that she felt. No. This wasn't pain. This was anger. This was loathing. Yes, loathing again. She hated his very nerve. Nothing she had done warranted this. Nothing at all. She just wasn't capable of being that mean.
But he had done it. There was no going back from this. Is this who he was now? Is this what he had become? Or was he always like this? I'm not the nice guy you think I am. Did he say those words with this in mind? Did he really believe it? Did she believe those words now? No. It wasn't possible. No one changes that soon and that much, could they?
She wasn't sure anymore. She was tired of hating. She wanted to cry, but this wasn't worthy enough to cry over. Why did she feel so upset? She had forgotten. Then her eyes found the picture once more. Rewind, pause, play. Repeat. And then it began all over again.
Loathing.
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