Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Relief

She turned around and saw a familiar figure walking towards her. She was still mid-song in her solo karaoke session, and it took her a while to register the person. Her heart stopped for a beat and started again at double time. A slow, wide smile spread on her now silent mouth.

His smile and walk seemed to brighten the dusky tones of the sky. His eyes were twinkling. It felt like not even a day had passed. But then again, it felt like far too much time had flown past whilst she waited for this moment. She went closer to meet him, and stopped just short of bumping into and hugging him. He was looking down at her face. She looked at his, and then slowly looked all the way down. She inhaled his scent. She had forgotten how intoxicating it was, being near him. She looked back at his face. That smile, that easy smile. How could she have forgotten that?

They went hand in hand, till they found a space to be themselves. She marvelled at his beauty, his scent now stronger than ever. She felt at home in his arms and in the kisses he rained upon her. She held him till she had drunk in all the memory of him.

Sitting side by side, she was startled by how much she had missed his touch. He obliged by allowing her a little more time.

Exchanging goodbyes seemed unreal this time. The moment had ended much too soon. Are we really doing this again?

Watching him go away this time made her ache in places she didn't know existed within her. Please don't, please don't go away? Please, please just turn around and stay? Stay with me!

Her silent prayers went unheard, as he waved a final farewell.

Please, God, please let's put this dream on loop?

The skies rumbled in response, and she felt a few raindrops tap her head.

She smiled. It wasn't the end of this story. This time she was sure of it.

One of None

She looked at the time on her phone yet again. Not even a minute had passed. But it was hours since she had sent out a post.

Dawn was approaching fast, it seemed to her, and no one had given any reaction to what she supposed would be a very reactable news.

Yet no one was saying a word.

Where is everyone?

Never had she felt more alone, in that moment. The blissfully asleep figure sharing her bed just snored in agreement to her thoughts.

She thought about what she'd read that day, and what made her write the post in the first place. Her straying mind allowed her a few minutes of calm that was going to be disturbed all over again once she reached the end of her thought process. It was inevitable. It boiled down to the same question. Over and over again. There really was no answer.

Where is everyone?

How did this not work when it was she who did the talking? Had she not put in her two pence of opinionated monologues for everyone else's?

It then struck her. She felt like a burden was both placed on and lifted off her shoulders. She should have felt liberated, but the realization made her feel trapped.

Then came the crashing sadness that settled in like it was home. There was only one comfort and remedy to this. But the solutions seemed so far out of her reach. So far that it probably was more anger and stubbornness rather than desperation that held on to what she called self-respect. It only made her feel madder. And worse.

If only someone knew intuitively what must be done. But, it seemed to her loneliness was her only friend. This time, she really wanted to just know.

Where is everyone?